The Weird Ones...

I know why I am always with the weird ones.

They are weird.

But I like it like that.

Why did I try and reject it so?

Through years and years of failure and suffering,

Rejecting myself in the end was the biggest failure.

The biggest one I have learned from,

And the greatest comeback,

I am the underdog that won,

The success story,

The one people will remember,

Against the theoretical odds,

Through the torture and the torment,

I came out strong.

The weird ones,

If we are lucky enough, are

Happy to be the way we are today.

Now.

I have been doing a course because of my unemployment situation. It is a mandatory employability course. The last day really inspired me to write something about what was happening around me. I was in a group of people that could have been labeled as "the weird ones". After the class, I was thinking that it is so interesting that I always end up in groups like that. But it's not a surprise...anymore. It was when I was younger and hadn't accepted and revelled in the fact that I was weird, but having turned to loving that part of myself, it is not surprising at all.

One of the other groups working together could be labeled as "the cool ones". I think they fitted that profile. Instead of doing the assignments, they were laughing and making fun of one of the people in my group, like the teenagers they were always meant to stay.

This would have made me envious when I was in high school, seeing people I would have wanted to be friends with laughing and having fun while I am in a weird person group, but now, it just made me sad for them and angry for my colleague. First of all, I know it's the last day and you just want to go home, but everyone wants to go home. Everyone wants to just get through this mandatory course and get back to doing better things. Second, it was incredibly disrespectful to the teacher and the other groups who were meant to present what we were all discussing.

I respect my colleague so much. Whether he knew that he was being made fun of or not, he has lived with being on the spectrum for 50+? years so he knows how to deal with idiots like these in an amazing way that I didn't pick up on until the last day. He would literally make fun of them back to their face without them knowing. By standing up, presenting something and calling on them to answer his questions with a specific anecdote at the beginning of the question (e.g. " since you like to make things up, why don't you answer this..." or "since embellishing is a big part of your job, why don't you answer this...") amazing! Inspiring! I wish I had his courage. This must have taken so much thankless work to be able to do this and not expect people to praise you for it. When I do something well, I like people to comment on it. And I hope that somewhere along the way, someone has told him that the right people will notice, appreciate and marvel at it.

Our final exercise made me very uncomfortable and then emotional. We had to praise each other in the group for five minutes each. I am good at doing this for other people, but, like many, receiving praise is something that is difficult for me. It was very awkward at the beginning. The we took turns and the person receiving praise had to turn around so they weren't facing the rest of the small group. After the first compliment I laughed awkwardly but then realised that this is a rare experience that I should really take in. When is this ever going to happen again? These are pretty much complete strangers, telling me, genuinely, how great I am and things they like about me. I ended up becoming so caught up in the moment that the things my group was saying about me made me shed a few tears.

They were saying that I am good at praising people, even without being asked to. That I am warm and genuine, kind, confident and passionate about what I do. That my sense of style brightens up a rainy day, and is a reflection of my personality. They said I am very polite and have good manners and am good at accepting praise, always saying thank you after every compliment. After all, complements are gifts that you should be grateful for just like any other gift.

These things really got to me. In this short amount of time, we were able to say all these wonderful things about each other. It was so special. I doubt the other group, who bond over a mutual fondness of ridicule instead of authenticity, would be able to say they shared the same experience. It is better to be weird. The connections are genuine, and that is where the real beauty is.

That is where I belong, with the weird ones.

Protection Spell © Taylor J. Norris